Top 10 unusual KPIs: strange ways businesses measure success

Key Performance Indicators (KPIs) are essential for businesses to measure performance and track progress. While traditional KPIs focus on revenue, customer retention, and employee productivity, some organisations take a more unconventional approach. From coffee consumption to “rage clicks,” businesses worldwide have devised unique ways to gauge success.

These unusual KPIs may seem humorous, but they often provide valuable insights into a company’s culture, workflow, and efficiency. Here are what we think are the top 10 most unusual KPIs that businesses use—some insightful, some hilarious, but all fascinating!

1. The Coffee Consumption Index ☕

Productivity often runs on caffeine, and some companies take this seriously by tracking coffee consumption per employee. If the coffee machine is constantly in use, it might indicate hard-working staff—or just extreme sleep deprivation.

Why It Matters: High coffee consumption could be linked to intense workloads or long hours. Companies can use this KPI to detect early signs of burnout or excessive stress in employees. Alternatively, it could signal the need for better break-room coffee to keep morale high!

Potential Fix: If coffee consumption skyrockets, management might consider introducing better work-life balance initiatives or investing in wellness programs.

2. The “Email Ignore Rate” 📧

How many emails are ignored or left unread? This KPI helps businesses assess communication efficiency—or how much employees dread their inboxes.

Why It Matters: A high ignore rate might indicate email overload, ineffective communication, or employees mastering the art of selective reading. It may also reveal issues with spammy, irrelevant internal emails or poor email etiquette.

Potential Fix: Companies tracking this KPI might want to consider streamlining email communication, using collaboration tools like Slack, or introducing email training for employees.

3. The Meeting-to-Work Ratio 🏢

Companies that love meetings often track how much time employees spend in them versus actually working. Too many meetings can drain productivity rather than enhance collaboration.

Why It Matters: A high meeting-to-work ratio might indicate a culture of excessive discussion with minimal action. If employees spend more time in meetings than doing actual work, it might be time for a company-wide intervention.

Potential Fix: Encouraging more concise meetings, introducing “no-meeting” days, or implementing stand-up meetings can help reduce wasted time.

4. The “Customer Rage Click” Metric 😡💻

Ever clicked a website button repeatedly in frustration? Some UX (User Experience) teams track “rage clicks”—when users aggressively click on an unresponsive feature.

Why It Matters: If this metric spikes, it’s a sign that a website update needs urgent attention before customers start throwing their devices. It also signals potential friction points in the user experience that could lead to lost revenue.

Potential Fix: UX teams can analyse rage-click data to pinpoint and fix website issues, improving customer satisfaction and conversion rates.

5. The “Friday Productivity Dip” 🍻

Many businesses measure the drop in productivity as the weekend approaches. A sharp decline on Friday afternoons could signal either burnout—or an unofficial early start to happy hour.

Why It Matters: Understanding when employees are least productive can help businesses optimise work schedules or introduce flexible hours. If employees are checked out by 2 p.m. on Friday, perhaps it’s time to introduce summer hours or hybrid work policies.

Potential Fix: Companies could implement half-day Fridays or “casual work” Fridays to maintain motivation.

6. Time Spent Waiting for IT Support 💻

From forgotten passwords to software crashes, IT issues can be a major time-waster. Some businesses measure how long employees wait for IT help.

Why It Matters: If the response time rivals the length of a lunch break, it’s probably time to expand the IT team. Long wait times can cause frustration, reduce efficiency, and lower morale.

Potential Fix: Implementing a ticketing system with priority levels or increasing IT staff could help improve response times.

7. The “Open Space Noise Level Index” 📢

In open-plan offices, noise levels can be an indicator of workplace dynamics. Is it a hub of collaboration or just endless chatter about last night’s football game?

Why It Matters: High noise levels might boost energy, but excessive distractions could hurt productivity. Employees who struggle to focus in noisy environments may experience stress and reduced work quality.

Potential Fix: Companies might invest in noise-cancelling partitions, provide quiet zones, or implement flexible remote work policies.

8. The “Bathroom Break Duration” 🚽

Some companies measure how long employees spend in the bathroom. While it might seem intrusive, it can reveal interesting insights about break habits.

Why It Matters: If employees spend excessive time in the bathroom, it could indicate stress, disengagement, or just a really addictive social media habit. A sudden increase in bathroom break duration might also highlight workplace dissatisfaction.

Potential Fix: Ensuring employees have adequate break time and creating a positive work environment may reduce excessive breaks.

9. The “Microwave Queue Efficiency” 🍕

For offices with limited kitchen facilities, measuring how long employees wait for the microwave can be surprisingly insightful.

Why It Matters: Long lunch queues can reduce break time effectiveness, hinting at the need for better kitchen logistics. Employees losing valuable break time might feel frustrated and less engaged.

Potential Fix: Offices might introduce staggered lunch breaks or invest in additional microwaves to improve efficiency.

10. The Office Plant Survival Rate 🌿

Some companies measure how long office plants survive as an indicator of workplace culture and responsibility. If the office greenery is thriving, it could signal a well-maintained and engaged workforce.

Why It Matters: A high plant mortality rate might indicate a stressful or chaotic work environment where no one has time to care for small things—or that the team is simply terrible at gardening.

Potential Fix: Assigning plant-care duty or investing in low-maintenance plants like succulents could help keep the office looking lively and fresh.

Conclusion

KPIs don’t always have to be about serious business metrics. Sometimes, the most unusual measurements provide valuable insights into workplace culture, efficiency, and employee habits. Whether it’s tracking caffeine intake or monitoring email avoidance, these quirky KPIs help businesses understand the human side of work.

Organizations that recognise and analyse these unusual KPIs can use them to improve employee well-being, workplace efficiency, and customer experience. So next time you’re thinking about performance measurement, don’t be afraid to add a little creativity to the mix!